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Pursue a New You Through True Self Value, Part 2In this Ezine, you will learn what to do with the information you have been gathering about yourself with the goal of creating and increasing your sense of self-value, as you were instructed to do in Part 1. Safely Balancing Yourself So far, you have been practicing observing yourself with a greater
level of self-honesty than before, becoming more aware of what your fears and
judgments are. You have also been noticing the judgments that you have on what
you observe about yourself. This
is not unlike learning to walk on a high wire. You need to find a balance so
that your emotions do not derail you. As soon as you judge yourself, you will
lose your balance and fall. As soon as you go into emotional reaction, the same
happens. Anything that takes your focus off of staying in a state of observation
will knock you off balance. Trying too hard will do this as well. Your
ultimate goal is to walk this wire high up in the sky without falling. Right now
consider your wire to be suspended just off the ground or a little higher if you
do not fall so easily. In this learning stage, you must remain safe or you will
not want to get back on this wire because it hurts too much when you fall. The
best progress comes with small, logical, and safe steps. Understanding Self-Value Better I
want to take the time to discuss the esoteric
qualities of self-value. Sometimes by describing what something is not helps you
narrow your definition and understanding of what it is. You can then create a
more precise focus in developing your self-value. Deep knowledge of a subject
gives you power and that is what correctly leads you in your personal growth. Your
level of self-value is in direct proportion to your level of self-awareness. If
you think you are self-aware or very self-aware, yet struggle with insecurities,
you really have not yet developed true self-value and therefore are not as
self-aware as you think you are. We all have insecurities, but we do not have to
struggle with them. By becoming fully aware of them, we can learn to deal with
them differently and without struggle. If
you think your level of self-value is high or very high, yet feel superior or
inferior to others, you really have not fully grasped the meaning of self-value,
and are using it to not have to look deeper at yourself. Self-value has no room
for comparison with others. When you have true self-value, you recognize others
self-value to be equal to your own, yet unique to each person. Self-value
is not judging others to be good or bad, just as you do not judge yourself.
Self-value is not closing your mind to possible meanings of who you are other
than what you currently believe about yourself. Self-value is the education of
ones self with an open mind, hungry for knowledge, and needing change above and
beyond anything else. Self-value
is a quiet strength, a knowing, yet a willingness to recognize when one is
wrong, but always with the outlook of ‘how can I act differently in the
future’? Self-value is questioning everything: what others say, what your own
beliefs are, what you hear, read and see. Self-value is not feeling doubt from
what you question, but using the knowledge you gather to constantly better
yourself. Self-value is hearing the opinions of others and then using what you
hear to understand that person better, not to question the validity of who you
are. Self-value
is fully understanding that the world, your existence in it, and even who you
eventually will understand yourself to be is full of seeming dichotomies.
As you become more inward focused, your vision expands outward to see more of
what is happening around you. As you become more self aware, you become far more
aware of all events around you. What you may originally judge as selfish turns
into true ability to help others. The results of your efforts go into many
different directions at the same time, giving you the results you seek as well
as much more in positive ways that you can only begin to imagine. This
should help you understand on a deeper level what you are striving for. Like
anything else, there are many levels of understanding and rather than reaching
for the top and not getting it, start from where you are and go one small step
at a time to create a foundation that is so strong it cannot be shaken. Remember
that a foundation is built one brick at a time. It will take more than a few,
more than a dozen, it may take hundreds of bricks to make your foundation strong
enough to truly withstand any challenge. Shifting your Understanding of Yourself So
lets get on with the work. You have been gathering pieces of information about
yourself. Now we are going to lay them all out on the table and look at the
different puzzles pieces to see how they fit together and look at how we can
create a picture of you, but this time with self-value instead of the fears and
judgments. Every
piece of the puzzle that is you has a flip side. Every negative quality has a
positive quality and vice versa. When you look at a puzzle piece that is one of
judgment, fear, or a limiting belief, the possibility for the reverse is always
there. In fact, it is on the opposite side of that piece. You are currently
feeling incomplete or without value because you are looking at the side of the
puzzle piece that holds the negative possibility. Absolutely
every quality that you have, that you do not like about yourself not only has
the reverse side, but it exists within you right now. If you cannot see it, it
is because you are primarily focused on the negative side. Simply the act of
taking your focus off of what you do not like starts the process of the piece
turning over on its own. Another
way to see your puzzle pieces is dark versus bright, or heavy versus light. With
judgment and fear you feel dark inside, there is no light and there is little
air to breath. With the reverse, the brightness seeps in on its own and new
possibilities make you buoyant, like a balloon. When you have judgments and
fears, you feel heavy, as if you are carrying a burden. With the reverse, you
are at least neutral and then momentum starts lifting you up, like a bubble of
air in the water. When
you feel yourself in fear, judgment, or in emotional reaction, stop the reaction
as soon as you can. How easy that is to do depends on the strength of the
emotion. It is easier to stop a train going 1 mph than it is to stop one that is
going 100 mph. Stop the reaction by acknowledging to yourself that you are
having one. An emotional reaction is your response to the fear of getting hurt. Question
yourself. If you can question the person or situation you are reacting to, that
is even better, but it is not necessary. Ask if what you thought (the thought
that triggered the reaction) is what their intention was. Ask yourself what
other possible meaning might there be to what just triggered you. Do not allow
yourself to be right and justify the hurt. If no new meaning comes to you, give
yourself a break and try again later. You are still too emotional to come up
with an answer. You are getting an internal “busy” signal. The Process of Redefinition Redefine
the hurt that you felt. The hurt is from your past. Your reaction now is the
defense mechanism you created to stop yourself from being hurt in the same way
yet again. If you don’t fully believe this it doesn’t matter, fake it until
you make it. Simply
the practice of redefinition is what will make a difference for you. Redefine
the judgment in your head, if it is a self-judgment, question the validity of
why that is supposed to be true about you. Use your anger and channel it into
screaming, “says who” in your head. All the voices that told you this in
your past will answer. They are ghosts; tell yourself that you do not believe in
them anymore. Tell them to stop, use your anger as a force to say no to them. On
some days, your mind will be so over active with its dark and heavy messages and
being right, it will be as if you are fending off attacks all day long,
sometimes every minute of the day. This can be exhausting and quickly leads into
those familiar feelings of hopelessness again.
Redefine the hopelessness into an alarm that tells you that you have
practiced enough. We all get tired; absolutely every single one of us. Acknowledge
your efforts in learning the new language. You have practiced the new alphabet,
saying a few new words, stringing together a few simple sentences, maybe even a
few more complex sentences, even starting to become somewhat fluent.
Everyone will be at a different level. Acknowledge yours. Acknowledge
that some days it will be easier to learn than others. Take a break that distracts your
mind, preferably something that feels good to you and stimulates one of your
senses. You are waking yourself up. You are slowly taking off that which has
been weighing you down and keeping you feeling dark. You are opening yourself
up, you are on the path of developing your self-value. Repeat these instructions
as often as you can. If
you want personal help accruing self-value or with any other issue, go to http://www.onlinecounseling.org/services.htm
to get The Help You Need. Right Here. Right Now. Ewa Schwarz OnlineCounseling.org http://www.onlinecounseling.org/
I welcome
your questions and comments on this article as well as suggestions for
future articles: Ezine
Comments and Suggestions
Thank you for your continued support.
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How Great Achievers Use The Law Of Attraction
There is only one thing that stands between you and the great achievers of the world, and that is the conscious use of the Law of Attraction. I say conscious because whether you are aware of it or not, the law is working in your life. The Law of Attraction is manifesting into your life what you are thinking about, the universe is responding the vibrations that you are sending out on a continual basis. Harness that power, and make it work with you, for you not against you. So how then do you harness that power? …. Read More ___________________________________________________________________________________
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