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This is first half of a counseling session for teenage numbness. If you would like personalized help with teenage numbness or another issue, click on the button to find out more:
The Counseling Situation
This is a long story that I have split into two parts. The link to the answer is at the bottom of this page. Well I'm 16 years old and I really don't know how to explain my problem. I feel numb... like I have no emotions. I no longer feel passionate about the things I used to like and nothing seems to make me happy. Yesterday someone told me something really nice about me, which before would have made me smile for a week probably but now I didn't feel happy. I noticed I wasn't as happy as before but it was mild and I didn't pay much attention to it. Also before when i would look at my mom this overwhelming feeling of love would feel me but now I don't feel that. I even ask myself do I love my parents? I know I do how can I not. Do you think this is depression? I ask you this because I've suffered from depression a lot before. But it this time it feels different... before I would spend hours bawling and wouldn't want to get out of bed, back then what hurt me the most was to see my mom worry about me so much. But in the last year I've tried so hard not to let little things get me down and I was doing fine. But just recently I had this feeling of numbness... I want to cry but I can't. I don't want to be like this forever, I want to be happy and love and feel the joys of life. I don't know what to do. I hate going to school because I have to pretend to be happy and its tiring to that. Actually i prefer to feel pain and sadness rather than this feeling of numbness, because I know i could always get out of that sadness one way or another. Is there any therapy or medicine that could help me? I can't imagine myself living in this state forever. Please help me, I don't know what to do.
Our young girl was sent two lists of questions to better understand her situation. Both sets of questions and answers have been added together as one list. 1. Emotional trauma can be caused by anything that leaves a lasting negative impression, it could be a big event, humiliation, breakup, or a big disappointment. Have you experienced this? i know I started getting a little depressed when I had doubts in my faith (Catholic) that caused me stress because church has always gotten me out of my hole no matter what, but now there was a void in my life. And about my dad 4-5 years ago, it feels longer, like 10 years... could this really be affecting me? I don't think i felt my parents separation was that rough because they no longer lived as partners since I was 6, I never recall my parents kissing. There are some memories of my dad coming home drunk but that seems so distant... I think i've dealt with it back then. I found out a good friend's mom had a brain tumor a few months ago. It was very shocking. I've realized that my loss of motivation or interest occurred slowly. Before I used to see myself as a successful person when I grew up and I had many goals... but that slowly disappeared- I think it was because of my low self-esteem I began to think I couldn't amount to anything. Getting good grades used to make me happy but not anymore, I still get good grades- even if I don't have the motivation I still haven't let them drop because i know when i get back on track i'm going to regret it if I do. 2. When you experienced depression in the past, how was it diagnosed and what did you do about it? In the past when I had depression-I would get easily depressed over anything. If someone said something hurtful at school, or my self-esteem problems because I have rosacea. I'm a shy introverted person so I think a lot and needed to be more socially active. But last year I got involved in sports and wouldn't let myself get down for little things. As for actually getting my depression diagnosed I never did, my mom did tell my doctor and she referred me to a psychologist or something but I never went. These depression episodes would come out of nowhere, they got better. Just a nice talk with someone, a walk in the park or going to church would help me. This weird thing came completely out of nowhere, I mean
one minute I was okay and the next I was a total mess. I remember I got mad
at my mom and played a video game till midnight. Then as i was putting my
console away I looked around and realized that one day this would become a
memory. I began to think of my parents, my family, my house and that one day
maybe I won't have them with me and it scared me so much. I remember I couldn't
stop crying all summer and began getting anxiety attacks. I cried so much that
my stomach got really sick- my dr. gave me medicine for ulcers. But you know
everything got better and I was okay my stomach no longer hurt me. 3. Do your parents know that you are depressed? What was their response? Does your mother know about this free counseling? My mom doesn't know i've entered this online counseling. I've told my mom, as for my dad I never tell him when i feel down...My mom would notice because I would become quite or find me crying. My mom has always been supportive she works so she would always be calling in checking on me. My sister has also been supportive, sometimes I go stay at her house. 4. Have you seen a counselor before? Please explain. No
I've never seen a counselor because I felt that they couldn't help me, I felt
this was something I had to fight. I didn't think they could help me, first
because I didn't really have a solid problem where I could tell them oh I'm sad
because of this this and this...most of the times i didn't know why I was sad I
was just sad. 5. Have you talked to your doctor about your feelings? No
I haven't talk about my doctor about my feelings. The numb feelings I've been
fairly recent...it was probably gradual. I've probably identified these feeling
about a week ago. but I did notice that before that I had lost passion for the
things i liked, I still liked them but just didn't feel as passionate about them
as before--I thought maybe I was growing out of them or something but now
I'm not so sure. 6. Describe your parent’s relationship with each other. My parent’s relationship is not good. They got separated when I was twelve. My dad, he’s a great dad but he would always drink and was addicted to gambling. Their separation was not pretty, my dad came one day drunk and tried to hit my mom and my sister called the police and they put a restriction order on him. I see my dad on Saturdays, except when he falls into gambling and stuff and disappears for a while. He has a lot hate for my mom and blames her. I felt I was a horrible daughter. How am I a horrible daughter? Well first of all I make
my mom suffer because of how I'm acting right now, she already has a enough to
worry about. I should be there for my mom and helping her out- but instead
i cause her more stress. I don't
consider her enough. Second when it comes to my dad, I'm not there for him
enough. I should call him more often because I'm the only daughter he has. I
haven't been a good daughter to him. I should
have lectured him and encouraged him to get better. Right now he's doing
great he hasn't gambled or drank in a long time and i haven't told him i'm proud
of him...i don't know why its hard for me to put my feelings in the open. In my
family we're not used to saying i love you to each other...we just know we do. 7. Do you have anyone to talk to about how you've been feeling? I've told my mom how i'm feeling but she doesn't understand, I don't expect her to, i hardly understand what im going through.. Every time I would get sad she thought it was because of the problems with my dad. But I really don't think so and I'm being honest here my mom thinks I'm in denial. I don't feel like that’s why i would get depressed. Sometimes i would think that if my dad would be okay and we would all be living as family I wouldn't have gotten so depressed. See well I don't think my dad caused me to be sad but*he was there all time perhaps I would have another person to talk to and stuff and it would make it better.(*if) 8. What do you understand about depression and its causes?
I think it could come for a number of reasons. It could come from a loss,
abuse, or childhood problems or things that you've stored in your unconscious or
a chemical imbalance. I know that when something hurts us we sometimes just
throw it to the unconscious and that could somehow accumulate or something. I
wonder if I've done that, I don' t think so but then how do i know if its in the
unconscious? 9. Does your mom ever get stressed and take it out on you and your siblings? Yes my mom gets stressed a lot, she’s a single mom and she has to work hard to get money to pay the house. She has a lot of trouble sleeping. Well she really doesn't take it out on us- sometimes she just makes a big deal of little things, or there sometimes she gets sentimental but nothing extreme. She’s a good mom, I really don't know how she handles everything. 10. Give me an example of what you eat in a day. i'm not a good eater. In the morning i probably eat cereal, a chicken sandwich for lunch at school, at home i'll eat probably some chicken and some rice. I've never been a good eater, my mom is always telling me i'm going to get anemia and she’s always taking me to the doctor. I should eat more healthy, there's times where i realize at night that i've just had breakfast and haven't eaten anything for 8 hours. I think i feel little better now than before... at least i could sleep now but it still stresses me that when i look at my family i don't feel that loving feeling. i've never felt this way so its kind of scares me because i want to tell my mom how much i love her and feel it with all my heart. I have a question... people say that if you act happy then you're mind will believe it and you'll be more happy-is that true? I was seeing a program about laughing yoga- they were just practicing how to laugh so that they will feel happier-do you think that actually works? I don't now if this will help but my brother gets panic attacks a lot. When he was younger he was unable to walk for a year because he had cramps in his legs... but the doctors never found anything wrong with him. He got better on his own. My sister has suffered from ulcers, before she would have to go to the emergency room a lot because she couldn't stand it. Well anyways thanks for taking the time to help me I really appreciate it, because I really need help. well i'll be waiting for your response.
Read the Counseling Response
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